“ Sister, I am going to tell you something, and I need you to hear me.
Let’s start with your sister, because she is the source of the information and the pressure about your dad. A visual aid:Īre you the creator of this? I think everyone who reads the site wants to buy your art.
It’s also possible for you to not care and not want to talk to him, ever. It’s possible your Dad HAS changed and IS really sorry.Ģ. Ugh, I’m so sorry that this is happening to you.
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I’m hoping someone on Team Awkward has suggestions how to fix this mess or myself. He does superficially seem like a better person than he was, but I still don’t want him near my child, and I don’t want him near me. I still have a hard time calling my father’s behavior abuse out loud maybe I haven’t gotten across how really really terrible just the idea of him makes me feel. I’d like a script to SHUT IT DOWN, but I guess it’s possible that Clay’s right and I am being unreasonable. The last time Clay and I argued about this he called me unreasonable, and I’m sorry to say that after that point I pretty well lived up to it. My sister mentioned that my father has been sending annual Facebook messages to me, reminding me that he loves me and if I “ever need to talk” he’s there for me, and Clay has taken that as evidence that he’s changed and deserves a chance to know his grandchild. Clay wouldn’t want to be cut off from his child for mistakes he made years ago, and although my father’s mistakes were terrible and I have every right to be angry, can’t I see it from his point of view? (spoiler: no). We finally had a discussion about it when he objected to not inviting anyone from my paternal side to our wedding, and I thought he understood.īut now I’m pregnant, and looming fatherhood has made him VERY WORRIED about my father’s feelings. I was, admittedly, not very forthcoming about all the issues I have with my father and siblings earlier in our relationship, so he was a bit weirded out when, for example, he found out I’d never met my nieces & nephews. “Clay” doesn’t understand why my family isn’t the same as his. Sometimes at his family events I feel like Jane Goodall observing emotionally healthy apes. And that’s good! They’re all great people! (His mom and mine are like bffs now). My husband, on the other hand, has a great relationship with his parents, his brother, his extended family.
It’s very difficult with my sister because she is very close to our father and is really insistent that I should be as well. We have reconnected as adults and are tentatively trying to learn how to be siblings. I have a brother and sister by his previous marriage, and part of his abuse involved keeping us from having a relationship with each other. We were in contact until I was 16 he was emotionally abusive throughout that time. Sharing/Saving this because I may need to describe my lack of interest in my dad the same way some day… Heyburn stayed his ruling while Kentucky appeals, meaning no same-sex marriages are taking place just yet. "The state’s attempts to connect the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage to its interest in economic stability and in ‘ensuring humanity’s continued existence’ are at best illogical and even bewildering…The Court can think of no other conceivable legitimate reason for Kentucky’s laws excluding same-sex couples from marriage.” Excluding same-sex couples from marriage does not change the number of heterosexual couples who choose to get married, the number who choose to have children, or the number of children they have. "Even assuming the state has a legitimate interest in promoting procreation, the Court fails to see, and Defendant never explains, how the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage has any effect whatsoever on procreation among heterosexual spouses. “Though it seems almost unnecessary to explain, here are the reasons why. “ These arguments are not those of serious people,” wrote US district judge John Heyburn. Kentucky had argued that legalizing gay marriage would harm the state’s birth rate. On Tuesday, a federal judge ruled Kentucky’s ban on same-sex marriages unconstitutional and issued a withering take-down of marriage equality opponents. From MoJo Blogs and Articles | Mother Jones:
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